


A Joke So Funny It's to Die For

by ThePinappleKid



Category: Original Work
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-08-22 11:09:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16596740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePinappleKid/pseuds/ThePinappleKid
Summary: A deadly punchline





	A Joke So Funny It's to Die For

-A young girl stood alone at night, under the flickering lights at the bus stop. She had just missed the bus and is now waiting 10 minutes for the next bus to take her back to her hotel. It was absolutely silent, save for the occasional rustling the leaves made when the wind ran by them and the occasional car when someone drove by. The girl sighed, frustrated that she couldn't catch the bus and is forced to wait for a bus that, chances are, won't arrive on time. She was watching the news earlier in the day and learned that a lot of the buses have been delayed due to an accident made to the schedule causing a massive delayed departure, no one knows who caused the error either. The girl decided to mess around on her phone for a little while until the bus arrives watching the colorful images of the game she's playing slowly appear on screen with each completed puzzle.

-After a while, the girl sighed and put away her phone. It was half-past 11 at night, and she had been waiting for 15 minutes now. Plugging in her headphones, she quickly scanned the map posted on the bus shelter's wall for the closest train station. As she was doing that, a car suddenly pulled up near her. The driver rolled down the window revealing a fairly attractive man. His very expensive looking suit and car, along with his slick back hair were all she needed to know that he was a wealthy person. The man got out of his car, hands tucked in his pockets, and approached her.

-"Excuse me, young lady, are you by any chance lost?"

-The girl briefly glanced at him before turning her attention back at the map, putting her hands in her hoodie's pockets. 

-"Now why would you think that?" She said, eyes narrowing when she saw that the nearest train station was a 30-minute walk from where she was standing.

-The man smiled at her and replied, "Well, it's quite unusual for a lovely lady such as yourself to be out here alone at night. Did you lose track of time at a friend's house perhaps? If you aren't lost that is."

-The girl huffed. "Well it is true that a young girl such as myself standing out here alone is unusual, but I find it even more suspicious that a strange man with such an extravagant car is talking to said young girl. Are you sure you weren't ripped off by the person in the back? I'd hate to waste time."

-The man raised a hand up defensively. 

-"Now, now, I know it is quite weird for a guy like me to be talking to a stranger. And I'm sure you feel quite nervous despite your outward appearance, but I'm just a nice guy checking up on a really nice girl. It was just something I decided to do, seeing you out here all alone, and don't worry there's no one in the back seat so you don't have to worry." The man said, "Here, I'll show you"

-With one quick motion, the man took something out of his pocket with his other hand, a devilish smirk crossed his face before he lunged at the girl. 

-"What a pain."

-In an instant, the girl dodged his attack, and quickly pulled something out of her pocket, slashing the man's neck with a pocket knife. The man collapsed with a thud on the ground, the blood pooling around her feet. The girl folded her pocket knife and slipped it back into her stained hoodie, and walked towards the man's sports car. Opening the door, she leaned on it and glared at the person in the back and said, "Letting someone else do the dirty work, you brat?"

-The person in the back smirked at her, before uncrossing his arms and shrugged.

-"Couldn't even scratch you, huh, sis?" He said. Blue eyes meeting hers.

-The girl stood up straight and huffed.

-"Only because you sent an amateur to do your dirty work, next time do it yourself, PK."

-PK just laughed, "Sure thing Sis, when pigs fly."

-She just glared at her brother. 

-She asked, "So who was that guy anyway? He looked fairly wealthy, dressed up liked that, it was like he was leaving some kind of party or something."

-"Oh, him?" He said between giggles, eventually he settled down. "That guy was the second son of some wealthy collector, not that I remember what he was collecting, but aside from this car and that suit, the guy apparently didn't have much, and was pretty desperate for money."

-The girl rolled her eyes, "Of course, I bet you told them you were going to pay them a ludicrous amount of money only to kill him with his own car once the deeds been done."

-The boy smiled, "Oh you know me so well. I was planning on throwing your bodies into the car and lighting it on fire later, but I guess the only corpse I'm burning today is his."

-"Naturally, moron, now hurry up before someone discovers the body."

-"Ok, ok," PK said. He got out of the expensive sports car and helped his sister load it onto the car. After closing the doors, he quickly retrieved his bike from the back, and after throwing gasoline onto the car, he quickly got onto his bike with his sister, and threw a lit match onto the gasoline, quickly leaving the fiery scene as the fire sped along the flammable liquid. After a few seconds, the pair watched the car blow up in the distance. 

-"And that's that!" PK said, before turning towards his tired sibling. "You Ok there, CK?"

-"I blame this on you," She said, "What kind of brother would make his sister pedal a bike at 167 miles per minute????"

-"...It was more like 0.02 miles per week"

-"I will slit your throat in your sleep."

-Suddenly, a raven swooped down and dropped a letter-tied to a rock-onto PK's head. CK picked it up while her brother rubbed the bump on his head.

-She opened it and exclaimed loudly, "It's from MurderMom!"

 -PK perked up with interest. "Oh! What does it say?"

_-"To My Wonderful Children._

_How are you? Are you still alive and well? Well, I suppose if you're reading this then at least one of you are. I'm informing you of a slight change in the family tree. It appeared as though you cousin, HS has been killed by someone on the tree, if the killer was any of you, children, then I suppose I should congratulate you on your amazing kill. On another note, the funeral will be held sometime next week, the date still hasn't been decided yet, and as our family customs, you are required to wear your best party clothes to attend the party afterward. Skipping out is not an option unless you've been killed, or is on your death bed._

_Love you to death_

_Mom._

_P.S Try not to dodge too many bullets"_  

 

-"Bullets?" PK asked, confused, "What bullets?

-Suddenly, a red dot appeared on his head, and it quickly dawned on the both of them.

-"HOLY-MURDERMOM IS SNIPING US," CK exclaimed. The duo quickly ran down the street, bumping into random bystanders and drunkards laying on the side of the road, as the sniper tried to get a good shot on the two fleeing teens. 

 

_To Be Continued? Maybe_


End file.
